10 Ways You Can Support a Pregnant Friend

Encouragement

Send them something so they know you're thinking of her. 
don't be shy, she needs to hear your thoughts.

This also means leaving some space between texting if you feel she may not want to talk. A lot of family may be texting and calling right near the due date and especially when she's in the hospital. So give it a break for a couple days and then you can contact her. Let her know up front that it's ok if she doesn't answer right away, but that you're simply there. 

Cleaning

She likely isn't going to ask for help. The best way to get a friend to take you up on your offers to help is to keep offering. You just keep showing up through text and let her know you're simply available.

When you happen to be visiting to hang out, offer to help clean. Of course this depends on how close you are, but if an acquaintance offered to to my dishes and, despite my polite "You don't need to do that.", got up and did them anyways, I'd be so grateful.

You know your friend and if she means the "No." or if she's just being nice. Not everyone wants someone else to touch their stuff, but for a new mom, this really can change. 

Hold Baby

If your friend isn't the type while lets other do things for her and she's busy, hands on type of gal, offer to just watch baby while she runs an errand, cleans, cooks or takes a long bath.

As much as a new mom absolutely adores her new baby, she could also use some accomplishment outside of new motherhood. It's good for her mental health for her to do some self care or do anything besides hold her baby all the time.

This is one of those show up things. She may decline your offer to visit most days, but the one time she really needs that time, you'll be there. I would message a friend once every couple weeks in the first few months to check in and then maybe once a month after the first 3 months. 

Help With Events

Offer help when events draw near. Offer multiple times. Months before, a month before, a couple of weeks before, the week of, and the day before the biggest pregnancy events. For example, the gender reveal and baby shower are big events.

As much as our pregnant friends wish someone would totally take over everything for these big events, they also want to decide on every detail. Ask months before the event would take place if she has someone doing it all for her and if not, what help she's open to.

She should take the lead on everything, it's all about her, after all. However, she will need a lot of help because of stress, tiredness and other family & friends pulling her in all directions. Be her safe space by following her wants, listening to her ideas and just doing the hard work for her.

Some ways to help include decorating, buying decor she wants as a gift, prepping games and gift bags and hosting the party by ushering guests from one thing to the next during the event. 

Go Out

Once a girl gets pregnant and then has her baby, the invites to go out slowly decrease. It could be because people think she's not available or she was invited for a while after, but because she declined so often she became overlooked by friends.

Keep including your pregnant and mom friends. If you're really her friend, you won't mind that she talks about her baby often. And visa versa, she should want to hear all about you too. She's in her matresence era, but still needs friends and fun! A loose night out, even without drinking alcohol or staying out past 8pm, is good for her.

The night will look a little different if you were used to going out later, especially since most night hangouts like speakeasys and clubs open at 10pm in big cities. Changing some things needs to be okay with you to keep the friendship going, since there's a small third party in the group now. 

Listen and Respond

A woman doesn't become a mom magically just because her body produced a baby. She becomes a mom over time. She's in a process of letting go of who she was, of everything she used to do everyday, and is becoming a mother. Some things are the same but a lot of things are not and she needs someone to talk to.

If she's spending most of your time together talking about new motherhood, she just needs to get it out. Hear her out. You don't need to give advice, you're just there. When she's no longer a brand new mother, the conversations will shift to more everyday stuff and she'll want to hear more about you too. At first, give some grace, it is really hard the first few months. Even up to 18 months postpartum, it can be hard for her to focus on anything else but the many many changes she's going through.

If it's really not your topic of conversation, try thinking of another mom you know to bring the next time you meet with her. In everything she confides to you, she's doing a great job at new motherhood and she needs to hear that! 

Monetary Help

If you are able, help her out when event draw near by buying some decorations, the dessert or bringing food.

Give her little things throughout the pregnancy that will be helpful when baby arrives, like baby medicine or soap.

When my bestie gave birth, I brought some post natal vitamins for her. It's just a small $15 thing to let her know I care. Vitamins postpartum are so important because most of our mood and energy come from having an effecient (or deficient) amount of vitamins everyday.

Below are the ones I chose for her because she said chewable prenatals were easiest for her to take.

Checking In

This is something simple you can do to remain present in your friend's life, even if you're at a distance. Some distance with friends is normal in new motherhood. She's just busy. Send a text or give a call every couple of months to check in. If you want to do so more often, definitely do. Just try to not take offense if she can't answer quickly every time.

this effort of support is my favorite for those friends that don't have kids and are busy with their own life. This is for the friend that doesn't really share much in common since their bestie became a new mom. You don't need to have anything specific to say. You just ask how she's doing to let her know you still care. 

Promote Self Care

There are many ways to support and promote self care for your friend that's becoming a mother.

doing something together like getting a facial, foot massage or nails done are great. You can pay, but certainly don't have to. Just invite her along as a means of company for you both. Just keep in mind what she can and can't do in her condition.

Another way is by giving a gift of self care. Simple face or foot masks, a face roller, scrunchies and stretch mark cream are inexpensive and greatly appreciated gifts.

I was first among my friends to get pregnant. I love giving products that worked really well for me and are essentials that I know they'll use. After me, theee of my friends became pregnant.

Here is a gift set I like to give because it really worked for me. I went through 4 and a half of the tummy butters during my pregnancy! 

Food

Something we don't really think about unless we've been through it is pregnancy and postpartum food care.

This doesn't mean only cooking food and driving it to your friend's house. This can look like giving an e-gift certificate shortly after she gives birth. It can look like a gift card during pregnancy.

An inexpensive & easy thing is to prep a couple of freezer bag meals that she can dump frozen into a crockpot and have a meal ready at the end of the day. 

Conclusion