My child began daycare at 19 months old. For a long time I worked days and my husband worked nights to make things work. But after he got a new job with daytime hours, we began searching for a daycare.
There were some cheaper places and some crazy fancy places. We found an in between place. It's had ups and downs, mostly downs. I would avoid daycare if at all possible, but when both parents make more than than double or triple what the daycare costs per month, it's just not avoidable. Here's how I cope and what methods I use to combat the difficulties of daycare life.
First off, even when a place says it's a school, teaches S.T.E.M. and puts early development first, unless it's insanely expensive, it is just a daycare. This is why, despite the challenges that I've experienced at my child's current daycare, I won't bother paying to switch her elsewhere unless it's a super fancy place with the price tag to match.
I even got quoted at a daycare a friend of mine uses and they didn't bat an eye at why I told them I was looking to switch. They said, "That's really common stuff." So for $400 more a month, why would I switch if it's the same anywhere?
Switching daycares can have negative impacts on little ones too, if you make a change like that expect behavioral outbursts for a few weeks after until they're used to the change.
My daughter has only been attending daycare for 10 weeks. She's been sick with 4 upper respiratory illnesses, hand foot & mouth disease and been bit 3 times by different toddlers.
I'll get right into my experience with daycare and then share my tips for moms in a similar boat.
Socializing
Social wise, my daughter is really sociable and likes to share. She's getting picked on a little by these other toddlers that have older siblings, but biting is inexcusable. Part of it is parenting, but a bigger part is daycare rules and supervision.
The law in Nevada is one teacher to every 8 kids. I once dropped her off and the teacher was helping another toddler in the potty room, I could see the door open & light on, for a good 3 minutes she couldn't see anything that was happening with the other 6 littles in her care.
I've also seen teachers with their back turned looking for something in a cupboard, again a few minutes passed with no supervision. Now I can walk away from my daughter at home because she's playing by herself in a safe space. But with 8 kids and mini toy bins to climb, they need constant watching.
I don't want to put down daycare workers. Just for me, as a mom, I felt uneasy leaving my daughter sometimes. I have a lot of trust in where she goes for care or else she wouldn't be there, but I feel it's better for her to be home.
The problem is that I can't be fully present with her at home. I work from home on phone calls all day, believe me, I tried to make it work. In my current circumstance, it's better for her to be in daycare where she gets arts and crafts, changed when needed and where she gets socialization.
The at home tot can socialize with their stay at home parent. Going to indoor play areas and parks are also great for stay at home families.
Food
As for nutrition, of course she has to eat, right? Daycare food is okay, I see frozen veggies, Dino nuggets, microwaveable French toast, jelly sandwiches... kids stuff. Some day cares, have a full kitchen where they can cook fresher food. I didn't notice until later that my daycare only has microwaves, a rice cooker, steamer, etc. They have smaller, limited appliances.
The stuff she eats for lunch there is what I would make at home on a super quick and busy weekday night, it's not terrible but it's not often she gets that stuff.
Really, I would prefer that she have fruits for a snack, not just front loops for breakfast and not pizza or ice cream for an afternoon snack. Yes, they serve ice cream a couple times a week. Keep in mind her classroom age group is 12-18 months. At least they have the option for me to bring my own food for her. I've given up on that for now, but over the last few weeks I am about to buy bento boxes...
How I deal is I weigh out the sodium and sugar she ate that day with what she will get at home. A two year old can only have around 400mg of sodium a day, which is why there's toddler and kid specific frozen foods with less sodium and more vitamins for them. at home I give her low salt fresh food (most days). It's often cheaper too.
Some easy ideas are cucumber, any fruit, frozen peas & carrots, wheat/veggie/chickpea pasta noodles and cheese. For meat I do whatever the adults are having, but there's plenty of protein in legumes and plants too so I don't always have to cook meat. These are all always winners and so easy.
Illness
Illness wise, I know my daughter wouldn't have been sick 6 weeks out of the last 10 if she was just going to indoor playgrounds a couple days a week. Nevertheless, keeping up any child's immunity is super important.
I drink elderberry tea (with ashwaganda) everyday. There's immunity teas without ashwaganda, but it has a calming effect so I drink it at night. There's been times my baby and husband were sick and, as many times as I have caught their illness, sometimes I didn't and I thank that tea.
I give my daughter toddler immune drops with elderberry as well. When she was smaller I did this daily. Now it's as needed when I notice she's getting a sniffle, which is every other week.
You get 4 boxes, cheaper than buying one box at the store!
I take a little bottle of baby hand sanitizer with me everywhere. You never know when they will want to eat and you never know what they last touched.
Smells like coconut!
I used to think those grocery cart covers were over the top, but after learning about how easy toddler illness spread from touching objects, I use one and wash it after every use. For example, hand foot & mouth is contagious before showing symptoms and stays on commonly touched objects for days.*
Baby will still get sick at least a couple of times, no matter what. So here's what I do to help my little one.
First is rest and sleep. When babies don't feel well they are restless all through the night and keep the parents up too. I used nighttime gripe water, even in the daytime.
I also used fresh chamomile tea. When my baby was 6 months old I began to give 5 ML of chamomile tea and by 1 year old they can have 4 ounces! Mine would be fast asleep before finishing that.
It helps them sleep at night and calm them during the day, especially when they are extra fussy from teething.* Just consider if your baby has hay allergies before giving herbal chamomile tea.
For younger babies, I have a link to soothing tablets below. These still work on my toddler if I don't feel like brewing tea.
Summary
If you can afford a $1500 a month daycare, you can likely afford an individual to come watch baby in your home & can place your own cameras. If you must use a less expensive daycare, it serves its purpose.
If you haven't had babies yet or are a SAHM (stay at home mom/dad), I would encourage you to make it work with one income. It is doable, you just get acclimated to less.
My husband and I have both always worked and though I sought a work from home job prior to getting pregnant for the specific reason of convenience after kids, it's still work and takes me away from my child. In my experience, it's even better to get used to one income beforehand so one can stay home.
If you're a SAHM or working mom, comment your thoughts.
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